Marriage - A conclusive study

People around me are getting hooked left, right and center. Its as if there is one of those mass marriages going on! (mass marriages happen in Rajasthan in a pandal where there are rows of brides and grooms that get married in a mass ceremony, no wonder then , that most Rajasthanis celebrate their birthdays in pretty much the same week of the that particular month)

Its as if - today; these people are like me (read: single and wavery) and then tomorrow - poof! they have almost intimate, entangled-in-the-arms, pictures on social sites!
Man! gives me the jitters...

Although, married life would be interesting (apart from the obvious!)
There would be like minded company to talk to -
I would not be looked down upon as an uncontrolled, obnoxious, drunk ,party animal, who lacks values generally. Moreover single-and-going-to-spy-on-aunties guy in housing societies - (This does not warrant the assumption that this has happened to me, its only grapevine that i talk from...)
There would some amount of social standing for me -
I would get more traction for leaves and otherwise at work even -
People, especially, of the older generation, have a way of looking at bachelors. They use the same kind of look for pimps; or some other entity owning a shallow character. I would finally would have rid that!

the general mindset of folk including bachelors themselves is - They can stay in whatever condition that you would put them in. It is a very disturbing notion to think such . It is akin to thinking that bachelors are like cattle. Herd them all together in a pen and give them dry grass to eat. Milk them all you want and not a whimper from them!

Bachelors like me want to wage an intensive campaign against such mindsets. It appals me whenever that i think of spending money on some luxury item and a met with disbelieving stares saying - "Why on earth would you want to do that?!"
Truth be told - my situation has improved, if this was earlier; a TV was considered to be a luxury!

Besides that of course, marriage would have its responsibilities as well. Minding women (never good at that), minding old folks of the yonder family (not good at that either), minding 'evemotions' (WOHA!!).
Minding finances is Farex! (F*** - Farex! OMG!!!)

Whats in the brackets is another line of thought that i would altogether leave aside.

So dear reader, any interesting women that you know of?

Rage - Why?

I'm angry.

OK, i don't know why but i am seething with something inside of me. It has not happened to me for a long while now.

In the evening i was this really snappy doberman. Would have bit the head off a person who dared cross me. I was in that mood. Strange part is that i feel good in one of these states of mind. Bold and rabid. Aggressive to the extreme. And that's the way to exist in this world sometimes i think. Bite the other guys head off before he spears you in the chest.

It is also probably the reason why top guys are always aggressive. Make no mistake, there is no room for niceness in the world. You gotta be a prick to be the one.

So, i was seething, snappy and wired. People around me guessed i was in a state.
Come to think of it, i am like this mostly now a days.
Not good for my blood pressure. Gosh, i have started talking like a 40 year old!

Logging off and watching cartoons!

'Wordy'

This is in reply to a comment that has made me write a new post. Oh! but don't get me wrong, i am not being forced here. I am in fact in one of my 'wordy' moods.

'Wordy' here means that probably the English speaking side of me has woken up again. Creativity goes for a toss where i work. Mundane stuff is peddled as being creative (sic)

So, being in one of the talkative moods and sending the analyst side of me to sleep for a while, i once again write about my shiny white shoes. I just love them! and once more they are clean! It just fills my heart with warmth seeing them sitting there dawdling by the wall trying to dry. "Take the whole week my dear" i say to them. I know i love them because they represent one of the hygiene factors in my hierarchy of needs.

I was/am a self confessed brand slave. The swoosh literally took my breath away. I guess that's why i chose marketing over any other branch. My mother tried to brainwash me into going in for HR - me being the quintessential MCP calmly explained without batting an eyelid to my mom that HR was for wussies.she would have none of it and asked me to get in touch with some HR people to figure out what exactly they did.
These bright and extremely intelligent looking smart people explained to me painstakingly what they did. I listened to them patiently and very nearly made up mind to take up HR going ahead. Then i came across the professors that taught HR. Gaunt and frigid. I have never seen such zombiefied people in my life. they would unnecessarily complicate stuff and make it even harder to understand by applying some godforsaken theory from that crazy guy called Freud.

Here's a scenario, the management is having a hard time in a factory by trying to put up with a strike and the factory has been plagued with it for a while. The demands of the workers is unreasonable and the management has had it with them. When i was asked for a solution, the first thing that came to my mind was - where was this bloody factory located? I mean it makes hell of a difference if you were say located at Haryana instead of - say Karnataka! Would your approach not differ? Bloody hell it would!

But no, what a European Psycho mistaken to be a great Psychiatrist thought held more importance than the immediate environmental factors surrounding your factory.

God help the management.

So, basically HR wasn't for me - no sir. Coming back to the brand story. I love brands. I know, i know its silly and downright idiotic from a thinking mans perspective to even make a statement like that. but what the hell! I love Brands!
i mean they evoke a childlike glee inside me, they do so in many people as well but i guess they are too grown up to admit it.

But the child does emerge here and there. Just slap a bloodcurdlingy expensive watch on your wrist without a tag and people would not notice. Add a 'Tissot' or a 'Breitling' (I'm not even going to omega and those obscene price tags) and the world notices.

Moreover, a brand is beauty, grace, elegance, dreams, quality, sophistication and a promise of a luxurious lifestyle. I am sure this is as capitalist as i can get this evening. Also loquacious.

Oh yeah, i also touched upon marketing. I have always always always wanted to make ads. Its so damn wonderful. Trying to communicate with a story in - what - 45 seconds? Be it for a Telly commercial or a print ad. I think its creativity at its finest.
The whole trip of packaging a product around sounds, visuals, and text to create an experience never ceases to amaze me. call me a kid if you will. But i do watch ads like a child would. I observe every moment and every detail.

Just that i don't buy the product right there. I'm not THAT gullible - I am a marketer after all.

The fastest Indian?

Ever since men invented the wheel there is talk of how fast you could go in the least amount of time.
Homo Sapien 'Unga' must have thrashed Homo Erectus 'Oonga' in a prehistoric F1 because of longer and stronger calf muscles to power his hay treaded stone tyres; carved out of limestone that Oonga did not think of to begin with.
Which is unfortunate, since technology has played truant with result of all competition involving men and fast moving machines. I myself have lost many a cart race at the supermarket with the other kid because he had his carts wheel oiled just recently, while i had the Lijjat papad plastic wrapping stuck in the wheel - slowing me down.
I should have seen it coming. I cursed myself for not reaching the line and being crowned "fastest aisler".
Lesson learnt - My bike was light, well oiled, aluminium frame two separate handle bars, one that allowed you to lean into the wind to reduce 'drag'. (Tech talk) Which, should have made me into a celebrity that splashed coke at nubile young girls. Nothing of that sort happened. Why?

Geared bikes.
Some with as many as 7 gears on them. The most anemic girls were able to beat me on one of them! Yes - it was tragic as i recall.

So, technology killed me here as well. And, many other like me that i can safely presume.
My crowning moment came when i bought my first bike. A Bajaj Pulsar. It was blazingly fast, it rumbled like a goonda, and rocketed out of signals faster than you can say 'green'. It felt perfect - for a while. Until the venerable men at Bajaj decided to launch a faster, better version of the same thing. My best friend bought it and cocked a snook (more like showed me the finger) as he left me in his dust cloud. Technology.

things have changed since then, i have abandoned the need to go fast and instead settled in for what my mill churns out today. Its more treble and no bass but, well, you manage a decent clip.
There are faster bikes, which is not the contention. It is technology. They keep reducing the size of things, at the same time making it faster still - Basically adding brains to something so small is akin to educating Chinese and Indians.
Contention number two is the chicks of course, they dig fast men who handle their bikes! But lets just not go into depression just yet. More in this later.

2 ways to Lateral thinking: Convergent and Divergent

One of my colleagues talked about lateral thinking of the mind.

What struck me was that aren’t we all lateral thinkers at some point in time? I believe it is only the severity of the need that drives us to lateral thinking.

Of course, there are people that are much better at innovating than others. A classic example would be improvisation in the face of adversity. You see it in the wild as well, monkeys fashioning twigs and scraps to use as tools to get to their food. The need here is to survive – which I am sure is severe enough for our not so evolved cousins to improvise. So, therefore is it safe to say that improvisation is evolution? And furthering this argument, saying that evolution comes from lateral thinking, which would effectively mean that species that are not able to improvise/adapt/evolve - think! - are going to be extinct? No wonder we call a dumb person – a dodo.

Extending this theory to races, we would see a totally different kind of lateral thinking happening; that of lateral thinking in face of social coercion. We already have seen it in history - converting to a particular religion because of coercion.

I am using a milder term for assault, murder, arson et al. Point being, civilizations have used brute force to bring people in line. Indeed, the engine behind the brute force has changed through ages. In the earlier times it was largely religion. Here the understanding was simple, convert to my religion; you get food, protection and salvation. Barter of goods was the fashion.

Some thought, dammit, I am not getting the right quality of the goods that I get in return for the quality that I am putting out! Why don’t I instead use the already circulating IOU’s written down on paper for exchanging? (Lateral thinker who must have introduced the first unrecorded financial meltdown in history)

This must have put in the idea of money in men’s minds. Then came industrialization and newer ways of making money were to be found, and out of this sprung forth the welfare state – socialism.

Later, capitalism took over. Though there were teething troubles with socialism for a long while. So a capitalist economy was brought forth only by thinking in an altogether new direction, one that did away with set norms and actually addressed the rotting issues facing men.

In this context, a bad example of lateral thinking would be dictatorship; Hitler and Mussolini were the poster boys of lateral thinking. Although, much credit could be given to these guys for the scientific advancements in industrial engineering that the world saw during the wars. Some of the manufacturing techniques introduced (time and motion study) et al have been phenomenally exquisite and are still used to this day; and perfected upon as well. All of it could be attributed to the stellar ability of mans mind to think in several different ways at one time.

In the new world, there is another buzz word doing the rounds called as design thinking. Talks about the way a product/concept/idea may function in the natural environment, that it is meant to function in, thereby designing it from the need basis than from, say, merely designers point of view. Isn’t this a subset of lateral thinking to speak of? I mean c’mon – stop jargonizing!

I think there are two ways to look at lateral thinking, convergent and divergent. Convergent thinking allows one to look at several aspects of a solution and encourage one to arrive at a single correct solution which, definitely is the practical way of looking a things. What I feel is, there is too much stress given to practicality, divergent thinking is where the pudding lies. And the proof is in eating. Ah-ha! I'm sure you were thinking about marrying divergence with practicality. Look at google, giving employees time to pursue their own ideas is an awesome example of thinking in a divergent manner all the while keeping practicality in your pocket thereby not damaging your productivity.

point being, Think lateral, but also divergent.

Saturday Morning Musings

Saturday morning, and copious amount of oil in my hair. I think that would be the ideal way to start a day. I mean, there is nothing as better than warm streams of oil running down your neck, after traversing their way through the undergrowth. Other than sex of course.

Early morning - for me that is...

The washerwoman seems to have suddenly found her calling in life, shes being extra painful in doing everything, right from the utensils to washing clothes. God chose to bestow sincerity on her on the day, i wanted to leave early, because, i had something closely resembling to a plan. I am sure he's having a hearty laugh!

Speaking of plans, yesterday i was scanning event websites. the sort where they update clueless people about the happenings around them; because; they are too glued to their computer terminals to go find out for themselves a.k.a me. To my utter delight and mild surprise, there was a small entry in the events section that spoke of an event, NOT involving Beer! It was truly a sight for sore eyes. Not that i don't like Beer - that would be blasphemy, but indeed, the site administrator must have stuck his head out of the vat of ale for precisely 30 seconds; to figure out there was an exhibition of cartoons by Mario Miranda (NO BEER!)

Though i have a sneaky suspicion that the guy (not Mario) must have been to Cafe Mondegar in Mumbai to notice his cartoons, and subsequently, give them a place in the list that comprised of events mostly involving ...

you guessed it - Beer!

I love cartoons, everybody does. You would have to have severe eczema in all the wrong places as a child to not like them. But that's besides the point, the point is it is amazing that a cartoonist can poke fun at the high and mighty in his own sly way. Look at R.K. Laxman. He's been lampooning the political class for decades, and hes got his bread buttered on both sides. Ajit Ninan is another genius with his cartoons. Our man Mario Miranda hails from Goa and you can see the relaxed and festive atmosphere, combined with the hospitable people (who are decidedly loud) reflecting in his cartoons.

OK - time out. The washerwoman has left! Gotta scoot!!

The bad salad

Typing is an effort

The reason is weakness, ill tell you why, had a shitty Russian salad prepared by, I suspect, a Bhaiyya who really didn't flinch when he poured watery Mayo into the salad. I believe that thing screwed my innards.

I got up in the morning, and promptly went back to sleep. My vision was hazy and the light hurt my eyes. It was decently dark in the room and invitingly cool. My body refused to respond to the usual tirade of my inner voice. I have a sneaky suspicion that the inner voice is that of woman, it keeps nagging me without a respite, it rears itself at the most inopportune times - like when I am just about to make my move on the cute chick, or; when i am going to bite into that extra piece of chocolate.

So I get up again at around noon time. My limbs feel like, well, limbs again and my head ceases to feel like a boom box. I trudge to the bathroom.

I sleep again, the Russian is out by now. I am fidgety, I am right there in between helplessly unwell and hale and hearty. My mind wants to go out into the sun and catch the sights and sounds but any attempt is thwarted by heavy bass in the brain.

By evening most of appetite is back and am looking for another day of the usual minus the Russian.

Wierdity

I think I'm losing my mind!

Seems like works taken over my life, whatever is there anyway!

The project I'm working in - there was too much work to begin with. and now there is none. Its like, i have a constant need to be in the thick of things to be able to live life to the fullest. And these crests and troughs at work are affecting me in the most adverse way possible...

They are playing with my mind.

This was about 4 months back.

The change had been approved, it was being put into effect, i was a bit late to reach the office and the developers had promptly put finger to key. They had made the pages according to the guidelines that had been assumed. I stormed into the development heads office and in front of everyone i screamed at the development head,

"Why the hell did you allow work to proceed this way?!!"

That was when i woke up. Now, one would seriously wonder where the exaggeration was in the narrative, but i cross my heart, that's exactly what happened.

Time went by as work mounted and the pressure was telling on all the members on the team, we laboured on. Our efforts paid off dividends as the developers began to get an idea of work and the pace of work started to reduce.

To a point - where there was no work! I had no work. Once this situation arises, i go nuts, i cant think straight, i don't know what to do!

It is a bit like the legendary demon who needed work from the master otherwise he would threaten to devour the master.

Though in my case there is a twist to it.

I reached the office on time. Switched on my terminal and answered the few mails that i get these days. Today, i had 5. I meticulously answered all and proceeded to get the morning cuppa.

That's when my cellphone rang. It had a Bangalore number and from the looks of it, the call was from my company people. I answered it in a flippant manner saying,

"Yes"...

This, was an exceedingly pleasurable practice that i was engaging in; and, was getting adept at! Smartly pick up the call and respond, "Yes..." - Brilliant!!!

"Premji here..."

"Ha!!" I scoffed and promptly cut the line. "Idiotic co-workers" i thought.

I settled at my desk, took a long swig of my cappuccino, the bittersweet taste refreshed me.

He was standing there at the door. Called me to the door. Took me into a conference room and both of us settled down. Or, to be more precise, he settled down, i was unsettled.

"Tell me", he said looking at a piece of paper he was carrying, "Akshay, What are the ways of motivating a team?"

"Uh...Training, Interaction..ummm, i blabbered incoherently" i was shitting bricks - Of concrete.

Premji Sir looked at me above his glasses. And then he left. I saw him drawing his phone from his pocket. Probably calling the HR people to settle my dues.

The concrete was setting.

I woke up with a knot in my chest.

I am losing my mind.

Observations with; and on; my Lonesome

Loneliness has reached its height I'm assuming.
Diwali; and i was - you guessed it! alone. So i went to this shopping mall to while away some time.
That too has become somewhat presumable. Given that at any given weekend one could find me at this particular shopping mall whiling away time. the bookstore is a good place for this activity.

An interesting thing about these bookstore is that at any point in time, you could find many people in this place. but serious buyers are very few, others are there only to look at the book prices and comment - "Itna paisa book me kon daalega yar!!"
Talks a lot about India's intellectual prowess dint it?

Now, people with a keen eye would point a finger right back at me asking "did YOU buy a book or not?!" I would skirt this issue by saying "Whatever worth reading has been read..."

The good people at the bookstore had to turn in for the night, early sleepers i might add. So they indicate the closure of the store by putting off the lights and turning them back on again - at 9 p.m. Isn't that cute, mama would have been so proud!
The manager must be a war veteran to send SOS' to customers.

I caught a book on branding though, just before the lights went out and back on again (not in the marketing section though - that remained dark, pretty much sums up the situation of the consumer market there) it talked about Chrysler, Sony, Dell, and McDonald's no i am not launching into a brand jargon thingy, i just got hungry on the Mac example and decided then and there to go have a Mac for dinner.
Big Mistake.

The line snaked around the cash register as if there was a 'Langar' going on. People of all ages, statures, nationality, gender and brand preferences where standing in line with their respective bawling kids. Its easy to see who's the boss here. Mr. Ronald McDonald of course!!!
The happy meals turn these cute & balanced little tots into ravenous zombies intent on acquiring their latest plastic contraption and bandy it around their peers - also called the happy meal toy.
Their parents of course watch helplessly as the the smiling cronies of Mr. Mac pocket away a nice round sum for some bread, cheese and soda.

I a.k.a slave to branding and the consumer lure, promptly fish out the said amount and hand it to the crony. He puts stuff on the tray and dumps it on me. I look for place, find place near a bunch of teenage girls trying to look older than they are, and succeed to a certain extent with their made up faces. There is no single seat in this place.
Sometimes i think its a crime to be alone. Go to a Restaurant - min. two seats, go to a theatre, the guy ll ask you for two seats, book a plane ticket, get off on the second booking!
I mean c'mon!!!

OK OK, i might be freaking out a bit there.

So i sit there in this place and stare out the glass partition that's between the common area and whats demarcating Mr Mac. I feel like a mannequin.

Though with a difference, they don't stare back at people passing by! (evil grin)
I guessed personalities for the people who were going by, this is addictive i might add! Do not try this until you can master the art of doing it discreetly otherwise they'll cart you off to the mental hospital.

A bunch of programmers tired of life, an aggressive short bald guy with an equally aggressive family, another bald guy with a babe for a wife/girlfriend - (i still hold out hope!)
3 women who looked like they walked off the ramp and right into the mall and then forgot where they came from because of the way they huddled and looked around for a way out.
a guy with a hairdo looking like he was trying to catch something on FM.
A chick with a fat guy who looked like she'd rather be with someone else.

Interesting - as i said.
TTYL

Diwali Wishes

Spectacular Diwali Wishes!
Have a safe and a prosperous Diwali and New Year!!
Spread Love & Joy everywhere!!!

Emigrate

Waves lapping at my feet
The sky turning a golden hue
A warm wind blowing through the sands
Carrying with it the salt of the Arabian
I sink my feet further into the sands
The cool of it permeating into my soles
There is a longing – yes
Of merging with the sands and traveling on the winds
To distant lands
Riding on the crests of the ocean
And settling on earth not seen

Somethings

Was just going through my earlier post about just random thoughts coming into my head and putting it down. It does make for interesting reading! mind you.

You might have found me ranting and raving about inane posts of people on their blogs; it IS fun reading it! Fact is - i had fun reading my own account.

My shoes - they are white. As in - shiny white. And i like to keep them that way. These are white sports shoes and not leather or other such horrible material so - please keep Jeetendra out of the picture...

Yeah, so my shoes - they are white in color; and i like to wear them to work; because they are comfortable. I get panicky only when it starts to rain, coz then ull have to wash them, because they ll get all dirty. Really an exercise in futility. Because they ll get dirty again. So ill wash again.

Caught in a vicious circle eh?

A guy at work - he just wont use his brains when he is working. Gets my goat every time. On an average through the day, i have to lose my cool with him at least twice. And its not music to anyone ears when I'm angry. I try to control profanities exiting my mouth because it is an IT company; they generally do that there because of all the women around. Only at such times i fervently wished i was in a manufacturing company. Over there; profanity; is the norm. If you are reprimanding a person otherwise, it wont be deemed as communication, rather; they will call you a 'Ch*****' behind your back!

Get my point...?

The posting options on blogger has a monetize tab at the end of the dashboard...what I'm wishing is my bank account should have a tab like that as well. I press ' monetize' and million is added to the account. even if it is make believe. Maybe it can be just given by the banks as an amusement or something.

I 'AM' sleepy now.

THE bossman

Hello! boss man here

Yes! i have been moved up the pecking order for the current project that i am into. So, now i head a team of 5 people obviously excluding me.

And it feels like I'm in the thick of things. Its a different high to order people around and them coming to me to ask for this or that :D

But at the same time it does feel like a responsibility that one has to shoulder to move around.

Also, i may have realised that i tend to turn into a control freak as i move into this role.

I am hoping to turn that around and loosen up more to the role thereby settle into a more comfortable last/second last week of the project.

Trivia

While i was going to write this post, i just managed to catch a glimpse of the number of posts that i have written. Its at 92, that's pretty interesting by way of trivia. Doesn't matter to us as much in life though. I have noticed people write the most trivial details of their lives and others read and comment on that. I find this strange because of the fact, that in this fast paced world, where information is everything, people still indulge in these trivial pursuits.

I have come across numerous blogs where there are just updates, not very unlike the status updates on their face book pages. Only more elaborate. Morning i was in the coffee shops, spotted this cute guy (obviously a girls blog!) and then went out with the girls in the evening. Ah! shopping is so much fun.

Comment: So true!

Why do people insist on using Blogs as a medium to market themselves, wait - not market, make a godforsaken reality show of their lives. You tube is better medium for Christs sake! And, where do people find these profound comments by way of answering or agreeing.

So that explains my endeavour to write about the bile that just arose out of nowhere.. instead of the poems that you find on my blog. If you can call them poems...more like haiku's...

I have been meaning to write a short story for a long time now. I have written three stories and a novel as well, which is-to date incomplete. It is loosely based on my life with a lot of creative leverage thrown in for good measure.

Although the stories are complete. and they read well mind you. Sent some to a friend of mine and she thought i wrote well - but could use some work.

If it was veiled attempt to tell me that my writing sucked, i would prefer to ignore it!

Another trivial update of my life is that the curtains that hang from my windows and the color of the walls do not match. is that problem somewhere in vaastu? can some one help?

i mean, OK-this is what i thought, I'd bring in yellow and green curtains so that the room would be kinda bright and stuff, but it was a complete mismatch with the walls that are creamish pink. It is horrible when you do think about it but not that bad when you actually put it up!

Its always better to make lists when sorting things out is what my 3rd grade teacher told me. So two issues that are hounding me...well not hounding, but a slight prick..

1. My incomplete novel and my short stories

2. My mismatched curtains.

Netra

The eyes have it

they always do

expressive and intense

soft yet sharp

fixing me in a stare -

but not exactly

piercing through to me

searching for something

a truth perhaps

grow wide at a realisation

laugh accompanied by a twinkle

they confirm what they seek

those eyes

they speak...

Afterglow

Lights reflecting on the calm waters

rippling with the slight wind of the Caribbean

shimmering in the wake of a boat

returning to the harbour

meeting several of its moored kin

the breeze ruffles my hair

as the sharp salty smell catches my breath

the lighthouse searches for the lost

its beam stabbing into the grey

as the light catches my face for an instant

recognises the calmness

and stays in on the afterglow of the twilight

Want with all your might...

Its all in your head...

this phrase- surprisingly is used for problems...

surprising because it is applicable everywhere, you just need to want and the universe is going to conspire to get it for you.

Just make a wish - and see the magic unfold.

But wish with all your might, all the will power that one has got, accumulate it into an imaginary box; put your wish into it and send it to God.

And he will respond with what you want!

Memory triggers

the smell of freshly laundered clothes

of rain on earth

of wheat on flame

of flowers in bloom

of babies

of petrol

of temples

of festival

of home...

reminds me of home

Movie-thon

Watching multiple movies is an utterly disorienting experience, people say a person can start relating to the story line and get totally absorbed in the web that the director is trying to weave, but watching a historic political drama after a cult action movie to be followed up with an animation has left me feeling like a multiplex. Ironically i paid 5 grands to get a new speakers for my laptop. Now - that's an expensive movie ticket!

What amazes me though, is the elan with which i was able to switch between these movies without flinching. Its 3 a.m. and my nocturnal multitasking abilities are at a all time high. I should apply to the censor board. Rest assured id be the hardest and most efficient working member of the group. Also, id ensure that the creative leverages of the movie director would be exploited to the hilt - so would the grossly overpaid and untalented leading ladies. 

People watching movies can be categorised into 4 major categories

One are the early adopters: People who get excited if they approach within 3 kms of a movie theatre and get goose bumps when they see the fox searchlight

Two are the early majority - the folks who get excited when they talk to any of the category ones and get feedback on the movie that they have just been exposed to.

Three make up the strength of the people, they disregard the Ones as non discerning folks who have ample time on their hands and hold themselves in higher esteem saying "I wont just go and watch any movie because of the marketing hoopla that the promoters have created - I'm more discerning!" Discerning here would mean taking opinions of the Twos. 

Fours just watch it on the pirated DVDs

I would place myself at 3 and a half. Awww...cmon, you would too but you wont admit it here.

Point being - watching movies should be an invigorating experience like an orgasm. At the end of it you cant come away feeling used and paying for it. 

I would like to give a special mention to a certain brand of movies that take you there and then abandon you 

As a child my imagination would be fired up watching some of the most awesome movies coming out of Hollywood and Bollywood. I remember not being able to sleep after watching Jurassic park because i thought every rumble of creak outside my room was a dinosaur trying to break in. 

Also, cumulonimbus clouds gave me the heebie jeebies for a while after watching Independence day. Id used to imagine a humongous saucer ship coming out of them. 

I have practised speaking like THE Don Corleone and stopped only after people around me made me an offer i could not refuse...

Ive wanted to talk like Agent Smith, get my ass kicked by Trinity and fly like Neo and occasional make out with Monica Belluci.

Now a days, i try firing up my imagination after a Tomb Raider movie - and believe me, its not difficult.

Movies are, have been and will be a magical place to go to for and hour or two.

An incomplete drunken stupor song

I dream, i fly

in the world round and round

but these shackles 

they keep me tethered to the ground

i wait i wait i wait

for the bells to toll

i wait i wait

i wait for the night to go

the sun will rise

upon the earth

the sweet wind will blow

the trees will sway

the wind shall say

dont worry - go with the flow

and i...

will love you

and i...

will love you

the lights they shine

up in the sky

they spell a ray hope

and you ain't here

Ur fragrance near

the thought turns to smoke

yet i 

will love you

though i 

will love you

Divinity

The serene waters beckon...

the sufferings washed away

in the glorious tide of Ecstasy

cleansing off of all that is turgidly dark

washing away despair

and germinating a new hope that 

speaks a thousand wonders

care to listen into the hymn

and dance to the music of happiness

bathe us in your pious glory...

in the serene waters that beckon

Specks on Canvas

I sway before the might
I am rooted transfixed, mesmerised
At the unwavering uncertainty
Being portrayed before me
Of the ever changing sands of time
Continually carving the facade of life
I marvel and sulk at the inevitability
And rejoice in the new
Change undeniably tied to existence
Reminds me of a speck
That you and I are on this canvas
Change what you can - what you will
And imprint upon this canvas
An indelible impression of a Speck
that was...

Live...Love...Life

I breathe in the crisp night air

look up at the stars

shining placidly overhead

and marvel at the simplicity of this affair

This affair called living

because as i stand here i live

and not merely exist 

far from the mill a-churning

I cease and look at the splendour

a feast to the eyes and the senses

as the waves lightly lap at my feet

its a marvelous candour

Snatching time from entropy

the part that is the most difficult

or so we are led to believe - believe me

its simple psychology

Find what you love

Love what you find

dance when others dance

& Sing

revel in the blessing of nature

Live...Love...Life

Please expidite...

I have this rather quaint but pertinent feeling of a nagging thought. It stems from the fact that i don't pray.

OK, i do pray - not that i don't; but it is not complete - its not half hearted - but its not complete either.

So acknowledging the love for my God remains unfulfilled after a few days. Which in turn disturbs me.

I let the devil called laziness take over, its an irritating situation as such with no solution except for reigning oneself in.

Wishes

Wishes are horses
galloping through the rocky terrain of life
Dodging jagged edges of existence
running away from reality
Running towards dawn
chasing the horizon of promise
The silver bright leader
resplendent in all thoughts
shines brightest and strongest through will
sprints forward oblivious
As it knows it shall see the light of day
and emerge into reality

G(B)oeing Down

Jan 26th 2009

All of bird kind was left in shock on this weeks terrorist attack on flight 1594. In an unprecedented strike fidayeen doves descended on the hapless plane in droves and took out both engines of the plane rendering it powerless. The Jamaat ud dovea has claimed responsibility of the attack. "These strikes will continue until these winged menaces have stopped polluting our skies!" said Dovesama Bin Loaded in a recorded statement found on the black box of the now sunk plane.

Earlier scouts were seen circling the Hudson to get a bird's eye view in order to carry out the deadly strike. Mr. and Mrs. Airbus have expressed concern over the safety of their aircrafts. "What is the FAA doing?!!" demanded a tearful Mrs. Boeing as she saw the aircraft sink into the Hudson waters.

"The skies are airtight" is what the security council of Hawks (SCHAW) had stated in their report on aviation security for the country. The legal eagles have descended in droves on doves branding Dovestan as a rouge republic. The president of the state Asis Alli Dovrari has refuted statements saying that Dovestan nurturing black ops doves for the operation. "All our motives are pure and our doves white!" he reiterated from the Government radio of Air-Dovestan.

Birdanitarian groups have called for a ban on products from the rouge state including the popular 'Dove soap'. Dovestan has in turn issued a no-fly policy over its skies angering scores of migratory species that use its air space over the winter.

This comes in wake of warnings issued by Dovesama's threat delivered by pigeon to secretary of state Croweleezza Rice of capturing and dining on migratory ducks.

"This guy's gone cuckoo!" was the general sentiments at 2000 feet - a popular high flyer congengration spot.

The Government on its part has promised to deploy the stealth SR71 blackbird's for protection of the commercial airliners. Commercial airliner honchos have expressed concerns that there aren't enough of them to go around. There have been talks of deploying Blackhawks as well but the proposal is still hanging in the air.

Popular actor Russel Crow, Mia Sparrow and others of the guild have expressed deep concern over the growing tension.

It is ironical that the once proud symbol of peace - The Dove, has turned into rouge state.

You know Chennai's getting to you when...

- You think the day ends at 9 p.m.

- "Anna" naturally comes to you when you are addressing strangers

- You ask for extra rice after emptying your plate of the same food

- You no more feel threatened by the waiter holding the rice bowl - you call for him instead!

- You know what "Podi" means and order copious amounts at "Sarvana Bhavan"

- Rice has started sticking to your palm

- people assume you as a tamilian just by looking at you

- Acquaintances keep talking in Tamil even if they know you dont understand jackshit!

- You feel withdrawal symptoms if you don't have rice in your diet for more than 48 hours

- You need your cup of "kaapi" after "meals"

- You have gone and "enjoyed" your first tamil movie!

- You have started humming tunes of the same movie songs

- You actually respect Rajnikant

- You actually feel faint when you see a woman in jeans

- You faint when you see a woman in a skirt

- You start noticing women in salwar kameez

- You start adding "-aaa" at the end of every sentence

- Your language is limited to functional communication like "Bus-aa?" or "Hundered - aaa??!!"

- You don't ask for directions because if you are given those - you feel even more lost

- You call up people for directions in other states who seem to know Chennai better than you

- You pack your bags at the drop of a hat when the weekend count goes to more than 2 days!

Excerpts of the interview with the outgoing president by Larry king

Larry King: We have with us tonight the outgoing erstwhile president of the United States.  So Mr. Bush; how was your term in office?

George Bush: It was nice yes, although the United States of America couldn't’t catch Osama; they seem to have caught Obama!

LK: How do you think his tenure in office is going to be?

GB: Colored...err..aah...i mean colorful!! He has got quite an uphill task!

LK: Why do you say that Mr. Bush; is it because of all the Bush-fires that you have set off all over the world?

GB: In that case the Australian PM would be better equipped with Foster's at his side! On a more serious note i think the legacy I have started shall be carried forward by a man with "Barack" in his name.

LK: What is this legacy that you are referring to? I hope it does not involve a white house intern!

GB: I'm offended Larry! The erstwhile president 'screwed' up only once. I did it consistently!

LK: Does screwing up with reference to the Iraq war or the Afghan war or Abu Gharib or your statements in/about all these places?

GB: None! I have achieved what no one can - i can read kindergarten books upside down! I also specialize in dodging  projectiles hurled by saudi’s.

LK: Coming back to the lewinsky...err...i mean legacy - what exactly were you referring to?

GB: I have destabilized the entire planet...my objective here is almost complete...

LK: OOOOk... sir, what do you think is the biggest challenge that Barack Husein Obama has in front of him?

GB: I think the biggest challenge is to stop the Tamil forces to take over the tiger' camps.

LK: (blankly) Sir, Are you talking about Sri Lanka?

GB: Yes! I'm glad that you look stumped for once. See, it was like this - I was looking to park some of our jets and carriers near India - poor sods have just one carrier - i thought they'd feel better, and saw this largish island right next to India on the map and thought... why not! Later Condi told me it was already occupied! So i was waiting for their squabbling to get over.

LK: So you mean, Sri Lanka holds the key to establishing stability in the South Asian region??

GB: Absolutely! You don’t want to piss off the Chinese by going on that side! Doesn't seem so but they see everything! Besides - i get my toilet paper from there!

LK: So you set up a base in Sri Lanka and then what?

GB: We can deploy freights to China on the east and Pakistan on the west...

LK: Hmmm...Sounds plausible - What am I saying!!!

GB: ...and then we can send spies into all these countries via the sea route - like in India...

LK: OK! We are back into cuckoo land!

LK: I’m sorry Mr. Bush but we have to end this interview here.

LK: Right! So this episode of America’s biggest loser’s continues with our next guest – Britney Spears…

Who - Me??

What do you want to write - i say to myself

i don't know i just want to ramble on about what i see

i see a guy pick up his bike and go riding

i see a guy enjoying the cool breeze

i see a guy helping people along 

i see a guy helping himself to life - to belong

i see a guy trying to make sense of it all

i see a guy enjoying himself as he does so

i see a guy fighting his own demons

i see a guy learning the ropes

i see a guy freaked out!

i see a guy trying to fit in

i see a guy yearning to break out

i see a guy with morals

i see a guy who's rabid

i see a guy who's nuts

i see a guy whose rooted to the ground

i see a guy whose purpose ain't yet found

i see a guy who will go miles for a friend

i see a guy who hates turncoats

i see a guy who laughs

i see a guy who loves

i see a guy who cries

i see a guy who shares

i see a guy who runs

i see a guy who fights

i see a guy whose a madman

i see a guy who is spiritual

i see a guy who thinks

i see a guy who's impulsive

i see a guy who wants to win

i see a guy who is almost famous

i see a guy who's a rockstar

i see a guy who's quiet

i see a guy who is unique

i see a guy who is misunderstood

i see a guy who is shy and introvert

i see a guy who is gregarious and boisterously extrovert

i see a guy who is this one guy

i see a guy when i see me

Sketchy

Charcoal scrapes across parchment

And a million ideas take shape

There isn't a necessity of exactement

Pray; widen your scape

Replicas of the real and unreal

They take myriad forms

At times they turn surreal

Pray; refrain from qualms

Imagination struggles for intervention

Geometry begs to differ

They say "care is better than prevention"

Pray; the edge is what i prefer

Creative leverage - the learned call it

Pedestrians: lack of skill 

The pencil does as is deemed fit

Pray; learn to feel

Give me Creative redemption!

Craved my tired soul

"Thou Shalt draw to emancipation..."

"Pray" the almighty told