Wierdity

I think I'm losing my mind!

Seems like works taken over my life, whatever is there anyway!

The project I'm working in - there was too much work to begin with. and now there is none. Its like, i have a constant need to be in the thick of things to be able to live life to the fullest. And these crests and troughs at work are affecting me in the most adverse way possible...

They are playing with my mind.

This was about 4 months back.

The change had been approved, it was being put into effect, i was a bit late to reach the office and the developers had promptly put finger to key. They had made the pages according to the guidelines that had been assumed. I stormed into the development heads office and in front of everyone i screamed at the development head,

"Why the hell did you allow work to proceed this way?!!"

That was when i woke up. Now, one would seriously wonder where the exaggeration was in the narrative, but i cross my heart, that's exactly what happened.

Time went by as work mounted and the pressure was telling on all the members on the team, we laboured on. Our efforts paid off dividends as the developers began to get an idea of work and the pace of work started to reduce.

To a point - where there was no work! I had no work. Once this situation arises, i go nuts, i cant think straight, i don't know what to do!

It is a bit like the legendary demon who needed work from the master otherwise he would threaten to devour the master.

Though in my case there is a twist to it.

I reached the office on time. Switched on my terminal and answered the few mails that i get these days. Today, i had 5. I meticulously answered all and proceeded to get the morning cuppa.

That's when my cellphone rang. It had a Bangalore number and from the looks of it, the call was from my company people. I answered it in a flippant manner saying,

"Yes"...

This, was an exceedingly pleasurable practice that i was engaging in; and, was getting adept at! Smartly pick up the call and respond, "Yes..." - Brilliant!!!

"Premji here..."

"Ha!!" I scoffed and promptly cut the line. "Idiotic co-workers" i thought.

I settled at my desk, took a long swig of my cappuccino, the bittersweet taste refreshed me.

He was standing there at the door. Called me to the door. Took me into a conference room and both of us settled down. Or, to be more precise, he settled down, i was unsettled.

"Tell me", he said looking at a piece of paper he was carrying, "Akshay, What are the ways of motivating a team?"

"Uh...Training, Interaction..ummm, i blabbered incoherently" i was shitting bricks - Of concrete.

Premji Sir looked at me above his glasses. And then he left. I saw him drawing his phone from his pocket. Probably calling the HR people to settle my dues.

The concrete was setting.

I woke up with a knot in my chest.

I am losing my mind.