Incorrigible !ndia

Indians are a racist lot.

There's is so much of dislike going around everywhere. Especially in today's world, seems as if people can't stand the sight of each other. I wonder why. taking a small example, my landlady does not like the tenants staying a floor below her. Says they are too 'banagalored'.

I retort in my head saying "where are you from then -  Bedforshire?!!"

Its as if there was an undercurrent of dislike that flows wherever i look to - i mean, its appalling. If i was to close my eyes and put my finger on the political map of India (the white paper thingy with the states drawn in that we used to gt in schools) I would have another race/religion/ethnicity/language/caste that was diametrically opposite in ideology to it (read: bloodthirsty lutes at each other's throats)

Be it the folks from Gujarat (or wherever they are from) called as 'Gujjars' or honor killers from Haryana - all of them are cuckoo in their collective heads. there seems to be no room for level headed people anymore.

"park in my lane - will you?!?!??" a club to the head and the argument is sorted out in a most sordid fashion.

brawn it seems - has taken over the streets in its most pathetic state - mob violence.

When i was younger (and less discretionary) i was witness to an incident in Delhi (pronounced: Dilli) that has a name now - road rage. A scooterist , an endangered species to begin wit, was hit lightly by a Maruti 800 from behind.

Now, we all know that loons with half a head drive scooters. And, these same loons when they do land some money buy the Maruti 800 - which incidentally, is a take-away box with wheels attached.

So, it could be easily construed as an incident where a person of the same community hit another in a random act of misjudged timing. Say your sorries and make way for traffic with out a ruckus.

But, no! - this incident has economic undertones - when i look back at it - it was a case of "tere paas mere se jyada paisa hai, AUR TUNE MUJHE MARA?!!!" The scooterist quietly got down, proceeded to remove his helmet and use it to bludgeon the poor guy sitting in the 800. And, you thought helmets were made to protect people. Hah!

We live in unfortunate times - i have to say. So unfortunate that; not a day is spent by where you don't have to navigate your life through marauding morons with verbal/physical clubs.

The divide is so yawning that there has to be a mediator in every transactory act. This mediator can be best identified by the smug expression on his face and the satisfied smile that he gives you after he has successfully managed to deliver results. A rare lot - they are to be coveted in any unfamiliar territory with utmost care. They will get you where ordinary mortals couldn't and make sure you have the necessary resources to manage things thoroughly.

But, that is not a sure fire solution. You are still stuck in hostile environment. the adage goes "if you cant beat 'em, join 'em". I decided to adopt it when i came to Bangalore for the first time. I tried learning the language but it sounded like a series of garbled abuses thrown at cowering listeners. Not, that my own mother tongue - Marathi sounds any different to the uninititated; i quickly abandoned any effort whatsoever to learn the language and adopted the one language that is gladly accepted and understood nationally - English.

And, it worked - in fact for 2 straight years i have uttered only 2 words of the local language -

'Kannada Gotilla' (i Dunno Kannada)

Unfortunately, for the locals its a matter of pride - I picture a Raj Thakery hopping up and down blowing smoke through his nostrils. The case is similar here as well.. Heck - the case is similar anywhere in the sub continent. Punjabi's will heckle you, Bengali's will look down upon you, Bihari's will kidnap you and hand you over to Assamese who will behead you - bit not before making you dance by trapping your legs in bamboos, Gujarati's will straight away swindle you, Maharashtrian's will beat you up for trying to work in thier city, so will Kannadiga's , Andhraite's will gather together and bitch about you and Tams will talk to you as if you were steeped in their culture, then realise that you aren't one of them, relieve you of your money and make you feel worthless because you aren't from their great country oops - State.

I love my India!

P.S. - Relax - its for fun. Take it that way :)