You know Chennai's getting to you when...

- You think the day ends at 9 p.m.

- "Anna" naturally comes to you when you are addressing strangers

- You ask for extra rice after emptying your plate of the same food

- You no more feel threatened by the waiter holding the rice bowl - you call for him instead!

- You know what "Podi" means and order copious amounts at "Sarvana Bhavan"

- Rice has started sticking to your palm

- people assume you as a tamilian just by looking at you

- Acquaintances keep talking in Tamil even if they know you dont understand jackshit!

- You feel withdrawal symptoms if you don't have rice in your diet for more than 48 hours

- You need your cup of "kaapi" after "meals"

- You have gone and "enjoyed" your first tamil movie!

- You have started humming tunes of the same movie songs

- You actually respect Rajnikant

- You actually feel faint when you see a woman in jeans

- You faint when you see a woman in a skirt

- You start noticing women in salwar kameez

- You start adding "-aaa" at the end of every sentence

- Your language is limited to functional communication like "Bus-aa?" or "Hundered - aaa??!!"

- You don't ask for directions because if you are given those - you feel even more lost

- You call up people for directions in other states who seem to know Chennai better than you

- You pack your bags at the drop of a hat when the weekend count goes to more than 2 days!

Excerpts of the interview with the outgoing president by Larry king

Larry King: We have with us tonight the outgoing erstwhile president of the United States.  So Mr. Bush; how was your term in office?

George Bush: It was nice yes, although the United States of America couldn't’t catch Osama; they seem to have caught Obama!

LK: How do you think his tenure in office is going to be?

GB: Colored...err..aah...i mean colorful!! He has got quite an uphill task!

LK: Why do you say that Mr. Bush; is it because of all the Bush-fires that you have set off all over the world?

GB: In that case the Australian PM would be better equipped with Foster's at his side! On a more serious note i think the legacy I have started shall be carried forward by a man with "Barack" in his name.

LK: What is this legacy that you are referring to? I hope it does not involve a white house intern!

GB: I'm offended Larry! The erstwhile president 'screwed' up only once. I did it consistently!

LK: Does screwing up with reference to the Iraq war or the Afghan war or Abu Gharib or your statements in/about all these places?

GB: None! I have achieved what no one can - i can read kindergarten books upside down! I also specialize in dodging  projectiles hurled by saudi’s.

LK: Coming back to the lewinsky...err...i mean legacy - what exactly were you referring to?

GB: I have destabilized the entire planet...my objective here is almost complete...

LK: OOOOk... sir, what do you think is the biggest challenge that Barack Husein Obama has in front of him?

GB: I think the biggest challenge is to stop the Tamil forces to take over the tiger' camps.

LK: (blankly) Sir, Are you talking about Sri Lanka?

GB: Yes! I'm glad that you look stumped for once. See, it was like this - I was looking to park some of our jets and carriers near India - poor sods have just one carrier - i thought they'd feel better, and saw this largish island right next to India on the map and thought... why not! Later Condi told me it was already occupied! So i was waiting for their squabbling to get over.

LK: So you mean, Sri Lanka holds the key to establishing stability in the South Asian region??

GB: Absolutely! You don’t want to piss off the Chinese by going on that side! Doesn't seem so but they see everything! Besides - i get my toilet paper from there!

LK: So you set up a base in Sri Lanka and then what?

GB: We can deploy freights to China on the east and Pakistan on the west...

LK: Hmmm...Sounds plausible - What am I saying!!!

GB: ...and then we can send spies into all these countries via the sea route - like in India...

LK: OK! We are back into cuckoo land!

LK: I’m sorry Mr. Bush but we have to end this interview here.

LK: Right! So this episode of America’s biggest loser’s continues with our next guest – Britney Spears…

Who - Me??

What do you want to write - i say to myself

i don't know i just want to ramble on about what i see

i see a guy pick up his bike and go riding

i see a guy enjoying the cool breeze

i see a guy helping people along 

i see a guy helping himself to life - to belong

i see a guy trying to make sense of it all

i see a guy enjoying himself as he does so

i see a guy fighting his own demons

i see a guy learning the ropes

i see a guy freaked out!

i see a guy trying to fit in

i see a guy yearning to break out

i see a guy with morals

i see a guy who's rabid

i see a guy who's nuts

i see a guy whose rooted to the ground

i see a guy whose purpose ain't yet found

i see a guy who will go miles for a friend

i see a guy who hates turncoats

i see a guy who laughs

i see a guy who loves

i see a guy who cries

i see a guy who shares

i see a guy who runs

i see a guy who fights

i see a guy whose a madman

i see a guy who is spiritual

i see a guy who thinks

i see a guy who's impulsive

i see a guy who wants to win

i see a guy who is almost famous

i see a guy who's a rockstar

i see a guy who's quiet

i see a guy who is unique

i see a guy who is misunderstood

i see a guy who is shy and introvert

i see a guy who is gregarious and boisterously extrovert

i see a guy who is this one guy

i see a guy when i see me

Sketchy

Charcoal scrapes across parchment

And a million ideas take shape

There isn't a necessity of exactement

Pray; widen your scape

Replicas of the real and unreal

They take myriad forms

At times they turn surreal

Pray; refrain from qualms

Imagination struggles for intervention

Geometry begs to differ

They say "care is better than prevention"

Pray; the edge is what i prefer

Creative leverage - the learned call it

Pedestrians: lack of skill 

The pencil does as is deemed fit

Pray; learn to feel

Give me Creative redemption!

Craved my tired soul

"Thou Shalt draw to emancipation..."

"Pray" the almighty told