It has been said that the lure of money is great. That greenish yellow piece of paper has captured the imagination of many men throughout the ages; and now it has caught my imagination as well.
I set off on the money trip a few days back when i decided to get some investment done. My outlook towards life earlier was - "have money, will spend". So, i came across as an unthinking brute with reference to money as such. The juvenile lack of understanding towards its actual value was unnerving as i retrospect. It still is to some extent but that's another; quite debatable; story. Realisation has set in a yesterday when i decided to look for some kind of accommodation in Bangalore.
things set off on the premise of a 2-BHK decent apartment with a balcony - good construction - AND in an upmarket central city area. The price was obviously whopping! (happy realisation)
And on another childish albeit suicidal whim - i decided to check the property prices in Mumbai - boy! was i in for a shocker!
(Note: The outstanding stupidity of this whole situation was the fact that i decided to pick the most unapproachable area of Mumbai - Napean sea Road)
And there i was staring unbelieving at the computer screen - Rs. 170,000,000 it said for a 2 BHK - Stellar... my teeny middle class brain had only one thought -
"People have that kinda money?"
and then it came to its ubiquitous middle class intelligent self and asked further
"if legitimate - then where'd all the money come from?" (we are not really discussing "otherwise")
and finally the grand finale
"How shall i amass all that wealth?"
the last one almost flashed across in a megalomaniacal way. Now, given my boundaries this was tending to world domination. Kids dream no?
And then maybe there was the culmination of all these happenings that a thought was born - of saving for the future, for making a mark in the monetary sense, for cornering a significant wealth of the GDP, for world domination!
OK, saving money was the operative word here, "drops form an ocean" - as the saying goes. The aim is to form an ocean; an ocean of money that i would be able to swim in from time to time when i am tired of playing pool on my favourite mahogany table sipping long island iced tea with babes in each arm. Ahhh....
Fantastic escapades of my imagination that are to turn to reality some day. Watch this space for more...
I am sitting here in office. I am back after a long break; long being 4 days straight at home. So, here i am sitting in office doing nothing (read: bench). Projects as such have dried up for my practice apparently and therefore i am sitting here doing nothing and wondering where my life is headed...
This thought just struck me when i was earlier talking to a senior colleague; her relative was a consultant and had a path charted out in front of him and knew what he wanted to do. An apparent contrast to that is my situation - i don't seem to know where I'm headed. It all appears like a directionless mess that i seem to be caught right now. Another thought strikes me at the same time that I'm being paranoid about the current situation, that i am overreacting to the current market trend with relation to the IT industry. That this situation is not going to be permanent and that my career shall take a particular direction that i intend to shape it into. Or rather i would know over a course of time what exactly i want from my life; what exactly i would like to achieve in this relatively small period except for making only money. Ok, making truckloads of money - that is one of the clearer agendas!
These are a part of my weird moody outlook towards life. One minute i am all smiles and the next I'm in a brooding mode wondering "what is it good for?"
But overall the overarching feeling of lackadaisical sense of direction to life is unnerving and the threat of the continuum does no positive. I really do need to feel positive towards life right now and stop thinking like this! It only depresses me and pushes me in the recesses as well.
But it is so difficult to do so! I am at conflict with myself as if there are two different people who are arguing with each other. I tend to argue over my own points and disagree with them after stating them. Its as if I'm inside a one act play with the protagonist and the villain both portrayed by me.
I shall have to indulge into creative pursuits otherwise there would be only this ongoing depressing feeling in the air that would sap me of any creativity and vigour.
