Ain't no love, In the Heart of the City...

When i was in my teens, (seems like ages ago...) I was of the opinion that living on your own was extremely cool. This stemmed from the fact that i never went to any boarding school or college. My MBA college wasn't a residential place like most other PG schools are.

So here i was, stepping out of the nest into the big world, all excited and nerves on the sidelines. "It's gonna be awesome" - i kept telling myself. "This was what you have been waiting for a while now! Enjoy the freedom!!"

And, the freedom is good. (note the 'is'), but there is something missing. No, wait, there's a lot missing. Let me list it:

For starters - Food.
I remember the time my mom stuffed my face with Paratha's before the school bus had honked for the fourth time early that morning. I have always been a late riser. I have never been able to properly recall the saying "early to bed and to rise is wise" or something like that.
So, Basically my Mom makes awesome food. Stratospheric food. Out of this world food. Galactical food. point is - i miss it the most.
Right now, I've got a male cook that behaves more like a 'cookie' (shudder)

That Home-y feeling.
Coming home has always been a warm fuzzy feeling. No matter where you come from, what kinda mood you come in or what you have been doing. It somewhat appaling that we as humans are so emotionally challenged that venturing out of our comfort zones and returning (even for a brief instance) makes putty out of grown men.
Now, coming home from Bangalore traffic is a decent feeling, but nowhere compared to Home.

Trust and other fuzzy stuff.
You know you can trust your folks with your life. I would not trust - say, my roomie for example, with my beloved bike. Its just that it comes naturally to you. And, then i guess you start your hunt for that person you cant trust apart from your folks. I.e. trust and the other fuzzy stuff.
For saving the reader from barfing, i will not venture into the 'other fuzzy stuff'.

Attention.
You know what I am talking about. Basically someone fussing over you all the time. Thats what deep down everuyone wants. Someone straigtning your shirt, screaming at you to get up, asking you uncomfortable questions about your night-outs, telling you what to do and what not to do. And then you go barelling back saying youll do exactly what you want. Well, thats waht you have now...
Now, this may make you think that I suffer from some syndrome that wants attention all the time - No, its plainly being wanted in a nice kinda way.

Now, I have also noticed people having their own special way of dealign with these issues. These solutions are not strictly the WORD, but most mix and match according to preference.
So,Here are a few observations.

Shopping.
Wild, carefree, card scorching shopping. It makes you feel good for the time that the shopkeeper hands over your bags to you. After you have exited the store - poof! Gone!
Scorch again!

Eating.
Pizza seems to be the only next best thing to you-know-what. Singles worship Dominoes and Pizza is the prasadam. Please note that this is not an issue with singels only - Couples on weekends pretty much have the same isues. It could be said that it was one person getting bored. After 'coupling' there are two..

Drinking.
Beer is the deliverance - if only for a few hours. And as the alcohol flows, you encounter an indescribably quiet and tranquil place even if its AC/DC playing at full volume.

Drugs.
This is a minority, yet these guys are far removed from reality and therefore have even more issues than the ones described earlier.

You-know-what.
Yeah, its good, really good. But, Shhh...Excuse me - we are Indians.

What stumps me is, none of this is a decent way of dealing with the "panga's" mentioned at the beginning. Some sustanable model has to be developed wherein people can really learn to cope with emotions (sic) in a not-so-barbaric manner as outlined and f(inally bloody well) find what (the hell) they are looking for!
May God be with us all.

I wanna sign off with my Fav cover from 'Whitesnake'

Ain't no love in the heart of the city
Ain't no love in the heart of town

Ain't no love - sure 'nuf is a pity
Ain't no love 'coz you ain't around.

An incident

Its 3:20 in the morning and i cant get a wink of sleep. But, that's not why i am writing this post. there is something lingering on my mind that needs to be put down here. Though i cant really place my finger on it (as usual). Its like i wanna get into the flow to take it out of me (refer to earlier post)

So, i was traveling back from Chennai to Bangalore in one of the many Volvo buses that make our lives a little bit easier. This old 'Uncle' struck up a conversation with me. He asked me about my work, where i lived, where my parents lived, what kind of work my father did, whether i have gone abroad or not, where i did my schooling/Graduation/PG.
And then went onto tell me about his extended family. It was really funny. The guy completely interrogated me as if i was there to marry his daughter or something. And gave me enough information of his family to make me an authority on the subject.

And then he said something totally unexpected, he said "you will go to New York, after your marriage"
I was completely taken aback. I didn't known what to say, all this while he i was trying to get rid of the weird enough conversation and it kept getting weirder.

At once it struck me that he was just being nice - like old people are to younger ones, but the sincerity with which he said it - was something i cant really explain.
Anyway, good luck to me... & him as well...

Flow

Aimless writing is an art in itself.
Let me first explain what i mean. There are certain articles, blogs, stories etc that you come across on this vast platform of the Net that just speak of...nothing. And, that is what I intend to master. People can ramble on and on about trivialities and not get to any point that would be remotely conclusive.
This is, i believe, to be an art in itself and what i like to call, aimless writing.

It is imperative to leave your mind a complete blank before the words start to flow naturally, and slowly but surely the paragraphs start to pile on. Although, one has to have a keen sense of language to latch onto that perfect word that best tends to capture the situation at any given point in the narrative. I mean, anyone can write about something silly that they noticed on the way back home or that happened to them on any given day. But writing without a subject in mind requires special skills. And therefore, letting yourself lose on the keyboard is advisable.

What i am trying to drive at is the blankness that stares at you when you try to put down any thought. Since you are trying so hard, anything that you write is pretty lame. and there lies the beauty of it all. Try too hard and you come up with a turkey, going with the flow is the thing to do. You will go downstream, wont have to work up a sweat to fight the current and reach your destination all fresh and triumphant.
Although, you wont know where you are going. Which is Fun!

And, that brings me to another question, Isn't that what we all should be doing about our lives in general. (My intention here is to shift the monologue from Writing to an all encompassing thought) I can be frank about my experience of fighting the current. It does not Work!

You fall into the rapids all flailing and gung-ho to go the Salmon way, and boom! the water hits you like a brick. Most of us don't survive the impact and are swept away in the current screaming for dear life.
The plucky variety find out how hard it is and swim, put up a brave front and give up after a while... And, those who do make it, well - take a bow.

I guess 'The Mother' intended us to swim in the current, LEARN to swim at the least and then venture to take it on.
It would be easier for her to watch.