Time and Space

I move through time and space. I move through it but in a detached sort of way; I do not subscribe to its insinuations; I do not relate to its mirth. 

I move through time and space. It all seems so surreal that i am not aware of the happenings around me; 'twas as if reality had never taken birth.

I move through time and space. The autumn leaves fall around me like the memories of my time; the time that i related to for an iota of my existence.

I move through time and space. The cool air brushes against my feet and takes me back to feelings once experienced; It now just lacks some persistence.

I move through time and space. I cast away the skeletons; shake my closet clean.

I move through time and space. I feel lighter, stronger, better - what could all this mean?

I move through time and space. The warmth of the Sun spreads to my face as it rises beyond the clouds; I emerge through the shadow casting away self doubt.

I move through time and space. My wings spread arching over the lush greens; as darkness dissipates; me and myself get ready for another bout.

Stars

I sat looking at the stars today

they were so many of them

i couldn't count

and i always thought that i could though

that's because i thought there weren't many

but as i observed

some more became visible

and some more 

and more until it was impossible to count

Aren't there so many such things 

that you'd think you can do...

...ain't happening

Man proposes 

and God just laughs at his plans...

A Cold kill

The cold eyes narrow to slits

the face goes stone

expressionless

emotionless

sans compassion

only the purpose

a purpose that guides

a purpose that drives

a purpose that binds

a purpose that blinds

the logic to defy reasoning

Purpose...

The blade unsheathed in hand

glides through flesh, skin and cartilage

The spinning bullet shot from bore

searing through bodies of filth

undoing nature, upsetting balance of a microcosm

to bring equanimity, calm and solace

if only a quantum of it...

With due respect to The Matrix: Reloaded

?

The blue mist descended on the mountain top

There was an eerie stillness to the air

the moon rose silently above the treetops

its ghostly white light filtering through the trees

somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted

answered by the cry of a lonely dog in the dark night

a rustling in the undergrowth

a passing shadow

Hope this is scary enough...

Conversations with myself...

A stillness has come to the air around me. I really cannot describe it, it makes me feel different. It makes me feel peaceful yet wasted. Probably there are two thought processes colliding with each other and culminating into this dilemma. My quandary lies in the question that: Is this a dilemma at all? or is it just the logical progression of ones life?

My good friend says in a lighter vein that I'm just PMSing. Funny character!

But yes, the symptoms shown by cranky women are not unlike mine. Except for the obvious...

These mood swings are highly disturbing in nature. I call them mood swings because of a lack of a better alternative. They leave a person feeling like Crusoe  - without his man Friday. Stranded and nowhere near civilization. Had been discussing this issue with my roomie about half an hour back. We were reminiscing about good old college days and the placement week. There were people that had become so desperate that they were trying their luck with each and every company - like a slot machine; there were yet others that did not flinch at the highest packages that were being doled out and were adamant of the profile that they were looking for. These two extremes are not the only ones existing. there were others like me that exercised discretion or were too confused to understand what to do. My Dilemma rises here again. 

Was this prudent?

Or was waiting prudent?

Thankfully it was clear that going and slot machining was stupid.

I have reason to believe that time may have the answers to the questions posed below with relation to my little discussion.

 - Do these people have more clarity towards life? Should i aspire to be like these people? 

 - Or should i stick to my own confusion and call it discretion?

 - Or am i just thinking too much here?

The last point is the English equivalent of "jaanede na yaar!!!"

.I shall come back to this comment saying that a human is different from animals because they have been gifted with the ability to think about things

.Yes, that is true, but humans have a limit to their comprehension and things beyond comprehension should be left God.

.Why should i not be considered qualified enough to understand the issue at hand? After all, I am the subject under discussion. And taking the shield of God is a very convenient way to explain away our lack of understanding of phenomenon

.Do you have control?

.I have control over myself.

.Can you control the happenings in your life?

.I can only influence them, external factors are out of my control.

.Then you should just leave them to the divine.

.But other factors are controlled by various other individuals that have control over their own little real estate and in turn influence other people's lives. Where does God figure in this?

.Ever heard of fate?

.Yes, i have. Going through life thinking there is something out there and which is reserved for you and that eventually you'll get it because God has thought so... well doesn't go down too well, isn't it? isn't that a a very defeatist way of thinking?

.No, it isn't.

.Why?

.Because, very simply, fate is decided for you. A very illogical turn of events that may look totally out of context and uncalled for may change the course of your life without any intervention by third party. And it finally turns out - they may be good for you. So these phenomenon in short form is called fate. And God is the scriptwriter.

.Why do all this?

.Now even i cant answer that. That's why the phrase "God Knows!" was invented. 

Leave this kind of thinking for the Almighty. 

And...

"Jaane De Na Yaar!!!"

Save us

I write this with tears in my eyes

they are for the people who died

died of bullets sprayed from a gun

they were innocents,

and believe me, they were people like you and me

they had dreams, they had hope, they had love

they were human to the last teeth, hair and nail

and - they fell

to deranged minds

no i do not talk about the brain washed scum

i talk of those who don't care

i talk of the callous men who call themselves the representatives

they laugh, they issue social wisdom, they tour the graves

and hope to achieve profit from death of these very people

As i sat there doing nothing

Watching my country being raped...

My soul wails in despair

Wishing, if not, to turn these black hearts

to call the almighty in heaven

He knows, He watches, He waits

For how long? how long God??